


Will to Leave

by The_Evil_Slayer



Series: The Evil Spike Chronicles [3]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Claiming, Confessions, Difficult Decisions, F/M, Light BDSM
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-05-13 13:56:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19252564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Evil_Slayer/pseuds/The_Evil_Slayer
Summary: Giles has found a spell to free Buffy from Spike's claim, but a difficult decision rests on her shoulders. Will she make the right choice? Who will have the will to leave?





	1. Three Weeks Later...

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, I am so sorry that it has taken so freaking long to finish this series, lots of horrible things happened since I last started writing, don't ask, it's all in the past now and I can get back to writing and enjoying what I love.  
> I hope you all enjoy reading and big thanks to everyone who left kudos on the rest of the series, I love you all xxxxx

[This prologue has some BDSM themes, if that squeaks you out then skip to chapter 2]

 

"That should hold you..."

Standing beside the bed, Spike gazed down at the Slayer on his bed, her wrists and ankles restrained to each bedpost. Black, silk rope. No harsh, cold metal for his girl.

He salivated at the sight of Buffy all laid out for him, his cock was standing and aching to the point of pain already. He had to smother the urge to bite and drink too much from her from time to time. Spike had done that a few times before but it was blatant that she was feeling a little more than faint from their bedroom activities.

Spike had been careful to make sure he had his fill before they played, but still his demon was tempted to taste her... claim her. And every time his demon demanded this he ended up chewing on his own arm as he fought for control.

Spike had claimed her that first night to keep her, to make her his and his only. So why did he still yearn for it? Still wanted to claim her again. To keep her close. He ignored the ache he felt in his chest at these thoughts and pushed them aside for the time being.

Spike began to stroke up her smooth, tanned legs, staring straight at her exposed sex glistening with anticipation. Large, cool hands trailing up slowly towards her aching center, gliding along inside her thighs quivering at his touch.

Buffy was fully expecting Spike to go straight to where she throbbed with need but instead deftly avoided it and started towards her breasts, she gasped as he took them roughly in his hands. Kneading, rubbing, pinching and twisting.

She was mewling and squirming as Spike continued his assault on her milky mounds. He loved to tease her, hear her begging for his cock... and that thought gave his demon an interesting idea.

"Spike?"

The sound of her plea brought his demon out, he'd been restraining til the sound of her whimpers brought it to the fore.

They've never done any hardcore BDSM - which was all he and Dru ever did for over a century. And knowing her innocence in the world of sex, he was sure that she wouldn't want to be forced into that without slowly building up towards it. But his demon was in control now and it knew what it wanted.

"Something you want, Slayer?" Spike looked up from where he was watching her lovely, rounded breasts seeing the raw need and desire in her flushed face.

"Please, Spike. I want you."

Spike removed his hands from her breasts and crawled up the bed, kneeling between her thighs. Buffy stared longingly at his meat and licked her suddenly dry lips.

Noticing that her gaze went straight to his cock as it bobbed against his six-pack; he slid one hand down his pecs and over his stomach. His hand lowered further down ever so slowly before grasping his cock and stroking it sensually, watching as Buffy pulled against the ropes trying to get closer to what her body craved the most.

“If you want it, pet. You’ve gotta beg for it.”

“Spike…” She continued to whine.

“Yes, luv?” He smirked down at her.

“I want you.”

“Do you now?” He asked, amused and continued to stroke himself over her aching sex. “I can’t hear you begging.”

She pulled at her restraints again, desperate to have him filling up her aching emptiness. Her juices were flowing out of her wet little hole and dripping down onto the silk sheets below.

Spike grinned wickedly as she writhed and panted. He continued to tease her with his little show, stroking and pulling on his thick, throbbing member. A drop of precum oozing out of his slit and he watched as Buffy’s mouth watered at the sight, knowing that she wanted a taste.

He placed his knob on her quivering, pussy lips, delighting in the shiver she made at the contact. Teasingly, he slowly rubbed her slit with his fat cock-head and listened to her moan and whimper underneath him.

“Spiiiiikkke.” She whined.

He pulled away as soon as the sound escaped her mouth, lifting himself off the bed as his demon began to laugh inside his head, knowing fully well what punishment lies ahead.

“Nooooo… Spike… want you.”

“And you will have me, kitten.” Spike said as he walked over to where he discarded his clothes and pulled his belt free from the loops of his jeans. “Once you learn how to beg.” He snapped the belt in his hands as he faced her, grinning wickedly at the resonating sound and the look of anxiety and lust on his willing captive’s face.

Spike sauntered back over to the bed and knelt between her spread thighs once more, smirking menacingly down at her flushed face. She was panting with frustrated need. He slid the folded belt ever so slowly down between her breasts and over her taut stomach.

Goosebumps erupted all over her skin at the feel of the leather gliding over her and perspiration coated her warm skin as the belt slid down over her nether lips and she strained against her bonds.

“Beg.” Spike groaned at the look of sweet torture on her face.

Buffy smiled mischievously up at him, instinctively knowing his game. She shook her head.

_Crack!_

The belt snapped down on her clit, the sound resonating loudly through the room. Buffy yelped in delighted surprise, it didn’t hurt as much as she thought it would and smiled at the pleasurable tingles spreading over her pussy lips.

Spike started to breathe hard from the sound of Buffy’s gasp, it was like sweet music to his ears. Her smile made his cock twitch and he revelled in the pleasure/pain he saw vibrating through her body.

“Beg.” Spike growled out.

Again, Buffy smirked and shook her head.

_Crack!_

Spike brought the belt down on her clit again and his demon joyed in the pained look on her face, her cries and her body stretched taut as the tingles from the belt flowed rapidly through her.

_Crack!_

_Crack!_

_Crack!_

With his demon in full control, Spike brought the belt down on her skin in quick succession; over her pussy lips, her inner thighs and her stomach. Buffy screamed and writhed in pleasurable agony. Red welts and marks covered her skin wherever the belt snapped down.

As his demon gradually became satisfied and sated with its work, the smell of tangy, salty tears reached his nose and Spike paused. Through demon eyes, he stared down at Buffy's tearful face, her cheeks red and stained with fresh flowing tears.

He felt his dead heart painfully constrict with guilt and horror at the sight of his slayer in pain. His hands shook and the belt fell to the bed then slid down off the sheets to the floor with a clang.

"Buffy?" He swallowed around the lump in his throat, his eyes brimming with tears of his own.

On her place on the bed, Buffy cried from the sharp stinging pain still skating over her nerve endings.

"Oh God... Buffy." Spike frantically untied her ankles and freed her legs from the restraints, apologies flowing from his lips. "I'm so sorry, luv. I didn't mean to hurt you so bad... I-I thought I had more control than - I'm sorry, kitten, so so sorry."

He reached for the restraints on her wrists and pulled her free. Once Buffy felt the loosening of the material on her wrists she quickly knelt in front of Spike and tried to reach for his softening cock, not fully realising that he was putting a stop to the painful play. Shocked, Spike tried to bat her hands away but she still continued to reach for him, he took hold of her upper arms and shook her slightly.

"Buffy, stop it!" He pleaded.

Buffy stared up at him through her tears. She paused and took in Spike's look of guilt and concern and... something else. The red marks maring her skin started to sting even more as the heat left her body and her tears came back in full force. Spike wrapped his arms around her as she sobbed into his chest, rubbing soothing circles into her back and whispering sweet nothings.

As he gently comforted her, that strange sense of need for her became resident once more as well as another alien feeling. Spike continued to soothe her pain as he mulled over the feelings coursing through him, becoming more bewildered as they grew.

_Buffy, what have you done to me?_


	2. Just a Little Spell...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike plans to make things up to Buffy by taking her out for a night of dancing but is something lurking in the shadows?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! I'm going to try to keep to a schedule to upload chapters every Monday. If I miss a regular Monday upload then it will most likely be posted the following week. Fingers crossed that won't happen. And thank you for reading! xxx

Spike watched as his girl gleefully pulled the contents of the shopping bag out and laid them on the bed to admire. The corners of his mouth turned up as she oohh'd and aww'd over the new outfit he had got her. She pulled out a simple green halter top and she slid her fingers over the silky fabric before laying it down next to the pair of distressed jeans.

"You like 'em, pet?" He smirked at her.

Buffy smiled and crawled over to where he was resting against the headboard. Spike wrapped his arms around her and drew her willing body close to his chest.

"They're beautiful, thank you." She said as she curled up against his hard chest as he smoothed her golden hair.

Spike still felt a pull in his heart that he couldn’t explain, all he knew was how earnestly he wanted to make her feel better after hurting her so badly the other night.

He could have sworn he felt his chest tighten and his heart hurt as he thought about last night. The smell of Buffy’s tears, the sight of her skin marked with his brutal lashes, the feel of her body shaking as she cried out in his arms. Spike swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat.

"So, feel like wearing them tonight?” He asked as he played with a strand of her hair.

“Why? Where are we going?” Buffy asked with a slight frown.

He tucked the stray strand of hair behind her ear and whispered solemnly. “Anywhere you want, pet. We’ll go do whatever you want.”

Spike watched her frowning face break out into a smile and he inwardly sighed in relief, caressing the smooth skin on her back with the hand loosely holding her to him. He knew that she had felt a little uneasy towards him all day.

“Can we go dancing? At the Bronze?” Buffy asked excitedly, she was practically bouncing on the bed.

Spike’s rich chuckle echoed around their bedroom. “Whatever you want, luv.”

Abruptly, his laughter seized as his fingers brushed over the now faint scar on her back. A sudden pang of guilt shot through him as he remembered the pain he caused making said scar. He gently traced the ‘S’ shaped line, feeling somewhat ashamed of what he did. He knew the mark would fade soon but it did nothing to make him feel better about it.

The frown on her face at his troubled look brought Spike out of his train of thought. He thought quickly to avoid her probing into things he didn’t even know himself and he deftly flipped her onto her back.

Buffy’s chest rose and fell with heavy breaths and Spike’s eyes followed their steady rhythm, his jeans suddenly feeling uncomfortable. Buffy’s gasp brought his gaze back up to her face, knowing fully well that she could feel his growing bulge poking at her through their clothes. Buffy relaxed and let her legs fall apart, allowing his hips to fit between her thighs.

Flashing a leer, Spike began to slowly move his hips, rubbing his bulge against her lace-covered mound, teasing her as Buffy gasped and writhed. He leaned down so his lips grazed her earlobe and softly growled, stirring the light tendrils of hair there.

“Why don’t we start dancing now?” He whispered.

Spike’s chest rumbled with laughter as Buffy reached up with eager lips, pulling his soft lobe into her mouth. Still laughing at the slayer’s playful enthusiasm, Spike kissed up her neck before capturing her lips with his and feeling Buffy’s soft pants.

His hips continued their tease against her now soaking pussy. Buffy whimpered in frustration and tore her hands free from Spike’s grip, reaching between them to pull her panties down and attempt to free Spike’s hard cock from his tight jeans.

Feeling her desperation, Spike relented and sat back on his haunches to help. He grasped her panties tightly and ripped the offending fabric off her body. Her gasp rang in his ears as he went about undoing his jeans and pulled them down to his thighs. His nine-inch cock bobbing against his stomach.

Spike smiled down at the perfect picture Buffy made, laying trusting in his bed. Spike’s smile softened slightly as he dived back down to gently kiss her as Buffy encircled her arms around his broad shoulders.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The Bronze was thriving as they made their way through the bodies of writhing teens. Spike almost shoving some away to clear a path. Leading Buffy by the hand, he found a table with which a group of teens just vacated to join those gathering around the stage. Spike quickly swept his hand across the table, knocking off the empty, plastic cups, clearing the table for his liking.

He pulled a chair out for Buffy and gestured for her to sit as he took the seat next to her. Signalling the nearest waitress as he did so while ignoring the staff’s irritated look, obviously not amused with the mess he made all over the floor.

Once the drinks were ordered they sat watching the people mosh on the dance floor. Spike casually sipping at his beer as Buffy swayed to the music in her seat. When Buffy perked up at the song change Spike lifted his brow at her and asked, “Something wrong, Luv?”

“Huh? Oh, no. I um, I just like this song.” She answered with a slight blush.

Spike smirked. “Go on, pet.” Gesturing with his head towards the dance floor.

Buffy beamed and took a quick sip of her coke before jumping up and racing towards the crowd of dancing patrons.

Spike watched Buffy as she swayed her hips and brought her arms up to run her fingers through her hair, dancing to the beat of the music. He felt as if in thrall himself as she seemed to glow in the middle of the dance floor, reminding him of the first time he laid eyes on her right there in the Bronze. He swore he felt that strange, overwhelming feeling in his chest begin to rise once again.

He didn’t have time to question it though when some pimply teens noticed her dancing and his demon’s possessive instincts came to the fore. He quickly got up and placed himself between her and the overzealous boys clamoring towards her, flashing some fang to send them scrambling away.

Seeming unbeknownst, Buffy continued to dance to the song and glanced over to their table, noting Spike wasn’t there and frowned. She jumped slightly when she suddenly felt him pressing against her back and gently placed his hands on her waist. She flashed him a smile over her shoulder as he began to sway with her to the rhythm, their hips pressed together as they moved to the music.

Spike was getting lost in the feel of Buffy’s body moving against him he startled slightly when she turned around to face him and laid her head on his hard chest, wrapping her arms around him. Spike smiled and encircled his arms around her body and buried his face in her soft hair, inhaling her sweet vanilla scent. Both of them so lost in each other they were oblivious to the shadow watching them from the entrance of the Bronze.

They swayed together through the song changes with Spike holding Buffy in his arms, that alien feeling started swelling up inside him again and this nagging at the back of his head pushed to the forefront. Spike tried to ignore it but it was insistent. His chest tightened as he was swept up with an overwhelming need to be closer to Buffy and he buried his nose deeper into her hair. And it was at that moment he knew.

Spike gasped and looked down at where Buffy was blissfully resting her head against his chest as she snuggled up against him and swore he felt his heart try to beat at the sight. He gently tightened his arms around her small body as he came to terms with the truth of his feelings towards the young slayer.

Spike began to think back to how this had all started. Claiming the slayer was just a bit of fun at first. To fill the void left from losing Drusilla, to use Buffy as a toy, just something to satisfy his needs. But the more time he spent with her, the more of her he could see.

Her passion for the kill. Her strength and resilience when faced with a tough obstacle, both physically and emotionally. The determination that radiates from her so brightly it’s blinding. Her desire for more, more of what’s to offer out there away from her former duties as the slayer. He can see that desire glowing in her eyes more and more each day. Spike remembered how dull that glow was on the day he took her.

He can feel every fiber of her being reaching out for the world outside her slayer bubble. The need for it. He’s given her a taste of that freedom but Spike knows that he can give her more. To give her the world and show her what she’s been missing, he wanted to give her everything.

And he would have her in return.

Spike heard a muffled yawn and looked down to see Buffy starting to fall asleep on her own two feet. With a quick glance around the nearly empty club, he knew it was getting near to the early hours of the morning.

Kissing the top of her head, he asked, “Ready to go, love?” And at Buffy’s sleepy nod he ushered her out of the Bronze. The two pair of eyes lurking in the alley watching them closely.

Spike draped his arm around Buffy’s shoulders as they started making their way towards the desoto. Buffy feeling so relaxed and safe she almost didn’t notice the tingles on the back of her neck or the growls now coming from Spike. She looked up to see a dark figure standing between them and the car.

“Liam.” Spike snarled.

“Angel?”

He approached them with caution but stopped as Spike’s snarls grew and placed himself in front of Buffy as he geared himself for a fight.

Angel stared at Buffy but she could sense something was off about his look. “If you came here to fight ‘fraid you’re gonna lose. Don’t know what the do gooders told ya but I found the gem. Good luck trying to get a good hit in.” Spike boasted, almost bouncing on the balls of his feet, ready to give it good to his grandsire.

“I came to take back what you stole.”

And before Spike could respond he heard a gasp and turned to see Giles grabbing Buffy from behind and pulling her back, struggling with great effort to keep a tight hold on the slayer.

Spike made a run to help her but was suddenly yanked back by his collar, he turned back and hit Angel with a hard left hook. He glanced back at the watcher to see him place a cloth coated in purple powder over Buffy’s mouth, forcing her to inhale as he whispered an incantation.

“Buffy!” Spike tried to run to her again but Angel grabbed his arm and twisted the gem off his finger. At that point he didn’t care about the ring, he needed to get to Buffy before they could do anything more to her.

He shrugged off Angel’s grip but as he took a step towards them he felt a sharp, shattering pain in his chest. Spike heard Buffy’s pained gasp and he understood she was feeling the same sensation. He fell to the ground clutching at his chest as he watched Buffy collapse in Giles’ arms.

He looked up at Angel, seeing him slip the ring onto his hand. Something was wrong. Very wrong. The constant warmth he felt radiating from Buffy through the claim was gone. Spike tried to stand back up but the pain in his chest was too overwhelming. Laying on the ground and whimpering at the searing pain he reached out as he watched Giles half drag - half carry Buffy to his car.

“Buffy.”

Towering over him, Angel watched and relished in Spike’s misery. He was tempted to kick his arrogant grandchilde while he was down but he didn’t want to keep Giles waiting.

“The claim is gone Spike. She’s not yours and she never will be. Remember that.” Smiling at Spike’s anguished cries, Angel began to walk over to Giles’ car. “Oh and thanks for the gem, William,” he sneered.

With the intense pain still striking through his chest, Spike could only watch as they drove off. He laid there on the cold concrete gripping at his chest and cried out his agony.

“Buffy…”


	3. The Gang Back Together Again?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the spell’s success Giles and Angel take Buffy to meet with the scoobies again, hoping it will help her recover. But what is really causing her distraught?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all so sorry for the late update on the series, work has been busy. Because of this I will be changing the upload schedule to every other Monday so I can give you guys the best chapters I can deliver rather than write in a blind panic just to keep up with the schedule. I hope that's okay with you and that you enjoy the rest of the series. I love you and appreciate you all <3

After speeding for a mile or two, Giles slowed the car back down to the speed limit, much to Angel’s annoyance and constant insistence to drive faster before Spike could catch up. The watcher exasperatedly explained that “if the effects of the spell are still evident in Buffy then they will be in him.”

When they finally reached a stop sign, Giles turned to check on Buffy’s condition, her pain blatant on her face and her body taut trying to hold back the cries. Giles assured her that the pain was not causing physical harm and will wear off soon. She didn’t respond in her disoriented state and continued to suppress her tears.

Giles looked at her with sorrowful eyes as he watched her struggle with the pain coursing through her.

_It’s for her own good. We had to do it. The pain will stop soon._

He drove in the direction of his apartment complex as Angel tried to comfort the slayer in the back seat.

Buffy felt as if a stake had pierced her heart, she would most likely find it ironic if she wasn’t trying to suppress her discomfort. Her chest felt like it was being crushed and an intense sharp pain struck her lungs with every breath, and another feeling of emptiness was overwhelming her.

As the pain was slowly subsiding and the disorienting fog was lifting, she was now aware of Angel whispering calming words to her and patting her back. Annoyed and feeling vulnerable she swotted his hand away and curled up against the car door, still shaking from the residual pain.

With the door handle poking her side, she finally realized that she was in Giles’ car and Spike was no where around. She felt a small panic rise within her and she hissed as a sharp pang struck her, the empty feeling turned to a crushing pain and her tears came back in full force. Buffy didn’t understand what was happening to her. The more she thought about Spike the more that emptiness inside her grew and the more distressed she felt.

“Spike…” She whimpered.

“He’s not here, Buffy, you’re safe now.” Angel consoled her. “We’re heading to Giles’ place, we’ll explain everything once we’re there, promise.”

Buffy stared at him with bleary eyes, still not able to grasp what was happening. She just swotted at his hand again when he reached for her’s and continued to curl up while she waited for the pain to stop.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Giles opened the door to his apartment and ushered the still frazzled slayer in. The anxious scoobies who were waiting for them leapt up from their seats in excitement at seeing Buffy again. Willow bounced forward to embrace her friend but Giles stopped her with a hand.

“Slowly, Willow. I admire your enthusiasm but Buffy is clearly distressed and the effects of the spell are still causing some discomfort. It’s best to let her calm down for a few minutes.”

“Oh, okay… sorry, Buffy.” Willow said timidly as Buffy just wrapped her arms tighter around herself. “Maybe I can get you something? D-do you need anything? Water? I can get water.”

Oz paused the nervous Willow and pulled her back down on the couch while Giles guided Buffy into an empty chair. All the scoobies stared, waiting for the slayer to say or do something. The uncomfortable silence stretched on as Buffy just seemed to shrink further into the chair.

“So… who’s up for pizza?” Xander cut through the silence. Cordelia gave him a little slap up behind the head. “What? I was just suggesting?”

“Sounds good…” Buffy’s timid voice managed to stop any argument that was about to erupt. Everyone’s eyes went back to her, her form still curled up in the chair.

“Pizza it is! I’ll go order it!” Xander rushed over to the phone while Cordelia followed, already complaining about toppings to him before he even started dialing.

The awkward silence returned as they waited for Buffy to say anything more but as she continued to tighten her arms around herself and looked down at her lap, no one was willing to push her to reveal what happened with her time with Spike. Only Angel braved to step towards her and reached a comforting hand to her but when she flinched away from his touch he sulked back into his corner, both crestfallen and enraged at Spike.

“Buffy?”

Buffy slowly gazed up to see Willow struggling to stifle her tears. “Will?” She answered back, as if just noticing her.

“Um… hi…” Willow’s voice shook as she tried to maintain her composure.

With the pain caused by the spell now fully dissipated from her body, Buffy was now fully aware of the people around her and staring expectantly. Xander and Cordelia returned to the room and Xander gently held out a glass of water to Buffy. She gingerly took it and began to gulp down the glass, hoping it will fill the vast emptiness that still remained.

“Giles… what happened? What did you do to me?” She demanded, now that she had found her voice.

The watcher sighed in both relief and uneasiness as he leant against the sofa’s armrest to face the slayer. “Angel and I were able to find a spell that had the capabilities to sever a vampiric claim… I do apologize that the spell’s side effects caused a great deal of discomfort. Please understand that we only did this to rescue you from Spike's hold, although I was not aware of how much pain the spell would actually cause.”

Giles gave a hard stare towards the vampire whom looked away from the prying eyes. Buffy turned to him in confusion.

“However, we are hopeful that it will be worth it when it’s all over.”

“Over? Isn’t it over now?” Willow asked.

“Yeah! You guys did the spell, Buffy’s back and the claim has gone bye bye. We should be celebrating! That’s why I ordered pizza!” Xander exclaimed in confused excitement.

Giles cleared his throat. “After some thorough research and speaking to Angel over the matter, it was concluded that a claim is near impossible to break. The spell can only sever the claim temporarily until it reinstates itself.”

All eyes went straight back to Buffy, all sharing sympathy and worry for the slayer.

“Then how do you get rid of the claim?” Asked Cordelia.

“When Spike is dead.” Angel finally chimed in and stepping out of the corner.

“But he has the gem! He’s virtually unkillable!”

“Not anymore.” Angel flashed the ring on his finger. “I swiped it while holding him long enough for Giles to do the spell.” He explained.

Buffy stared at the ring, remembering how long it took her and Spike to find it. How happy he looked when they eventually found it almost made her smile at the memory. Then that pang of emptiness started to grow again inside her and she flinched, clutching at her chest to try to alleviate the pain.

Angel mistook her flinch and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay. He won’t hurt you again, I promise.”

She gave him a confused look as he smiled down at her.

“Then what do we do now? Rally up the torches and pitchforks?” Oz asked.

“I stand on going out and killing him now.” Xander pitched in enthusiastically.

“But even without the gem he’s still really tough, even Buffy has struggled with him before.” Willow was hesitant about diving straight in without everyone forming a plan.

As the gang argued back and forth over how to deal with Spike, Buffy felt a heavy ball of distress growing in her chest and when the arguing escalated to shouting her head felt like it was going to explode. She didn’t understand what she was feeling or why. Her thoughts were swimming and felt jumbled, and the ones that she could make out were of Spike and her duties as a slayer created conflicting feelings inside her and only brought on more stress.

“SHUT UP!”

Buffy’s wail stopped the incessant bickering at once. Each person in the room stared at her with silent apologies as they waited. The slayer wrapped her arms around herself once again and looked up at Giles imploringly.

“H-how long?” She asked shakily. “How long till the spell wears off?”

“About 24 hours.”

There was a collective gasp from the scoobies at hearing this news. Xander was about to reinstate his original idea to hunt Spike but Cordy shushed him before he could start. Everyone watched as Buffy struggled to collect her thoughts and rubbed her arms to calm down but despite her efforts, her face was beginning to contort into anguish.

Willow stood and reached over to comfort her friend. “Buffy?”

However, the slayer evaded her and stood up from her seat. “I-I… I need some air.” She rushed to the door, pushing past Angel as she did so. Buffy slammed the door behind her and leant against the wall of the building breaking out into tears.

Twenty-four hours to decide what to do about the claim and about Spike. She could barely gather her thoughts about what had just happened in the past half hour! She didn’t understand. They didn’t understand. How could they? They had no idea what she’s done, what she’s been through, or what her life was like with the bleached blonde vampire.

The memories of how he’d treated her the past month flooded her mind. The first time he took her was too painful, the scar he left on her back, faded but still there, came to mind and she felt a small ounce of hatred towards him for that.

But the recent memories. The way he held her close, the sweet, calming words he whispered to her, and how gently he made love to her. Made her feel warm.

She thought back to earlier as she took deep calming breaths. That he took her dancing to make up for the painful play they had the night before. Those weren’t the actions of the Spike she knew before. Something had changed in him. In her. He held her so sweetly and close for hours just swaying to the music. She felt something change in herself in that moment with him.

But the thoughts of her duties as the slayer came back and she squeezed her eyes shut at the pang. Spike was a vampire, she was a slayer. She had to do her duty. But she didn’t want to. She didn’t understand why other than how his treatment of her had changed so drastically.

Was it because he thought of her as property? A possession? Or was it the claim? Did it change them? She wasn’t sure. If she didn’t kill Spike she would be under the claim again and she didn’t know what would happen if that came to be. If she did kill him, she would be back to being the slayer. Stuck fighting everyday to protect those who had no clue about the creatures in the shadows existed.

She would be back to slaying, reporting to Giles and the council as if she were a private reporting to the sergeants and generals. A pawn in the fight against evil. Day in and day out. Never able to live a life that she wanted. Fighting till her last dying…

Buffy gasped as she suddenly remembered the gem. And the spell Spike did with it in order to protect her. The spell to make her immortal.

_I would be the slayer forever!_

Her tears burst from her as she sunk against the wall in dismay. She wouldn’t be able to escape from her duties, not even the peace she would get from death was an option anymore. Buffy cried as she held onto her arms tighter.

Too succumbed in the crushing weight she felt, she didn’t even look up when the pizza delivery man walked past. Moments later she felt a hand on her shoulder and picking her up out of her thoughts.

“Buffy, what’s wrong?” A concerned looking Willow stared down at her. “You know you can tell me anything, I’m your best friend, remember?”

The slayer desperately rubbed at her face and wiped away her tears as she shakily picked herself up off the ground.

“You don’t understand, Will.”

“Then help me understand.” Willow implored. “I don’t know what happened while you were gone and I wish I did. I even wish I could remember what happened when Spike had me in thrall a few weeks ago just so I could have some understanding.”

Buffy gripped her arms tighter and looked to the ground for strength.

“It was a spell.” She whispered.

“Huh?”

“Spike had you perform a spell… on me… using the gem…”

Willow, still confused what Buffy was saying, prodded her to continue. “What do you mean? What spell?”

The slayer looked up at her friend with tear filled eyes. “Spike found a spell that… it makes… to make someone immortal…”

Shock and horror fell on Willow’s face.

“Will… I-I can’t die. I can't age... I'm the slayer forever now.”

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own anything, all rights go to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy... I just have fun playing with the characters


End file.
